8 Things Women Do To Kill Their Realationship

Here are top the top ways women can "kill" their relationships men. Can you relate to any of them?

Have you ever wondered what things women do to push men away? As someone who is fortunate to many female friends and many women as clients, I'm here to share with you what's I'm hearing on both sides. 

It may seem that "Men are from Mars" and "Women are from Venus" on communication emotions and relationships. What one woman may think is proper behavior in dating/relationships, a man might believe is way off base (i.e. deal breaker!). But there are things women can do to help their relationships move forward, and things they can do to sabotage them as well.

 

I'm here to help you navigate the "mine field" of dating. While I can't give you all the answers today, I want to share some of the major ways women sabotage their own relationships. Men do this as well in some of the same ways as women, and some in different ways.

When you decide to love yourself first, invest in yourself, and set healthy boundaries, these eight things below tend to go away.

And while you read it...ask yourself...how many of these am I doing or have I done? It's hard to move forward until you take a hard look in the mirror and ask the tough, real questions.

You can check out a free guide I produced on how to find the romantic relationships you want and deserve, here.

1. Overanalyzing Every Word (or Close to it!)

Typically, a man can say or do something without much thought. That's not to say all men do this all the time, but they are more apt then women. I find that many women will spend hours discussing the nuances in what a man said or did with a girlfriends. They will break down every part of the communication. Was it a text? Did it have a smiley face? What time did you text? How many texts that day? etc. I know it’s hard not to overthink things when you’re dating since you don’t always know where a man (or women) stands. I also know many men aren't that good at communicating their feelings and emotions. However, too much analyzing will drive a man a way because you will start to overreact on every little thing. If you he didn't contact you today or didn't make plans far enough in advance, just roll with it. Perhaps he is busy or having a bad day or week. You don't know. And obessesing with your girlfriends won't get you any closer to the solution. You will end up confronting him with it, getting mad, and driving him away.

2. Have Your Own Life

I see way to many people getting involved with people too quickly and investing too many emotions when they don't know the person. Don’t start having your life revolve around someone you met a month ago. You've lived a long time so far, so keep doing what you are doing. When you over invest you give your power away. It's easy then to start putting yourself second, and not setting proper boundaries, which will lead to an unhealthy relationship. Live your own life with your own friends, career/job, dinners and events, etc. A man who is really interested in you will be open to compromising on doing things.

Remember, love yourself before you let a man love you. 

3. Don't Be Insecure

 

Men don't want to be around women that wear the perfume called "Desperate...I Don't Want to Be a Cat Lady." Neediness is a major turnoff because it shows how insecure you are. You are telling the other person you don't have confidence in yourself, have low self-esteem, and that you will need constant reinforcement. If he’s out with friends, leave him be and don't go around checking social media to see what's going on. If he hasn’t texted you back after a date, relax. You have to give a man space.

4. Negativity

Men (and women) have enough challenges to deal with in life without having the person they are dating to be overly negative. This isn’t referring to genuine concerns about your relationship or sharing how you feel. It’s referring to negative questions and statements that trying to elicit a response. These are: “Why don’t you tell me you love me anymore?” or “I bet you are going to break up with me.” Instead of trying to "fish" for information, just ask him. If you want a man to be straight forward, honest and transparent, then act the same as well. 

5. The "Trying to Change" Trick

Trying to change someone is not recipe for a happy and healthy long term relationship. There is nothing wrong with encouraging someone to be the best they can be and/or helping them see other options. But no man wants to have his "mom" tell him what to do and why he is doing it wrong. That only makes the other person feel like they are not good enough and it can be a major mental beatdown.  If you need to nag and criticize someone for not living up to your expectations, you are with the wrong person. Would you want someone else to do that to you? 

6. Too Much Way TOOOOO Soon

Men are guilty of this as much as women are. Stop trying to make a one month relationship mean more than it is. Getting too clingy or emotional too soon pushes people away because you are putting pressure on them. It's great to be excited about being with someone, but you need need to plan marriage and your children on the second date. Wait a while before you bring up long-term commitments and lifelong plans, and make sure the feelings are mutual. If you make them too early, the man will think you are "cray cray." 

7. Seek and Ye Shall Find Problems.

If you look for problems, chances are you are going to find them. For example, if you are afraid of being rejected by the man, you may misinterpret things and try to reject him first. If you have a negative mindset, you are going to create a negative reality. No one is saying you have not had challenges in your past. But you make your present your past when you keep carrying that baggage forward. So instead of dating, work on yourself first!

8. Talking About the Ex

If you bring up your exes or your past relationships, you are on the road to driving a man away. Sometimes exes or past relationships need to be discussed and that's OK. But in most instances, you only need to discuss them briefly and only high level details. And there is no reason to bring them up early on in a relationship. If you need to vent, go talk to your friends!

Conclusion

 

Ladies, men make a lot of mistakes too, and they commit many of the same ones as you do (and different ones). No one is perfect, but you can take steps to not sabotage your current and future relationships.

You deserve happy, healthy, and extraordinary relationships.

The first step is to love and like yourself because if you can't do that, you won't be able to sustain the types of relationships you want in all area of your life!

Do you have anything to add/ comment on? Let me know.